Living & Dying Well: A Book Review

“People who are willing to contemplate their aging, vulnerability, and mortality often live better lives in old age and illness.”

Let’s be honest, talking about dying is never easy, especially in our culture: one that does everything in its power to cheat death.  From the beauty industry to the healthcare community, Americans see getting older and dying as a failure, not a natural rite of passage for being human.  With this mindset, the result can be a tragic one; death being the least of the loss.   Fortunately, there are wisdom-people like Katy Butler, and others, who are not daunted by the beautiful, yet difficult topic of dying well.  

“To our ancestors, death was no secret.”

In her 2019 book entitled, The Art of Dying Well, award-winning Butler tackles the forbidden conversation in a disarming fashion.  Through story, researched data, practical suggestions, and a genuine sensitivity for both the person passing and the surviving loved one(s), Butler curates a discussion that invites the reader to sit at the kitchen table of truthfulness, trust, transparency, and togetherness.  Delineating the topics into chapters that are age-oriented, Butler creates a solidarity with the reader by highlighting a diverse but common experience among aging-Americans.  She answers questions surrounding insurance and Medicare, clarifies advance directives, and dismantles the myths about hospice and palliative care with the end goal of quality of life in mind.  Finally, Bulter masterfully articulates the complexity of saying goodbye while humanizing the experience and embracing the mystery and spirituality of death and dying.  

In the end, The Art of Dying Well is as much as about living and loving well as it is an honest exploration of the final journey that we as human beings will all take.

Reviewed and written by Mark Carter, Spiritual Counselor and Bereavement Coordinator at Topkare Hospice.